Are Gaps in Your Memory or Feelings of Confusion and Anxiety Leaving You Feeling “Crazy”?

Would you describe your early life as “chaotic” or “complicated”?

Do you find that chunks of time have passed without you noticing, or even being able to recall what you’d been doing?

Have other people told you about odd or unusual behavior you’ve shown, despite you having no memory of it, or finding their description totally out of character?

Have you ever felt like your behavior or thoughts are so different in some situations, that it is almost like there are multiple versions of you?

Do you have large gaps for months or years of your life, particularly before the age of 12?

If someone were to ask you what life is like, you wouldn’t even know where to start. Things feel so overwhelming that your emotions can begin to feel like a rollercoaster. Other times, you just shut down and feel numb or disconnected from your experiences. Doing everyday tasks like keeping your house orderly, caring for your family, or just getting out of bed can feel impossible some days, while others it seems like no big deal.

These issues may have begun to impact your relationships, whether at work or with those you care most about. You may avoid conflict or find that your anger goes from zero to 100 with no warning. This may leave you feeling like there is no way to work through challenging interactions with others. You may be distant from your family of origin or feel like life would be easier if you were. Part of you wishes desperately to connect to others, while another part may feel too vulnerable to let others close.

It is possible that these experiences can be explained by dissociation—our brain’s instinctive coping method for handling extreme stress or chronic trauma. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a diagnosis used to describe people whose minds have adapted to trauma by compartmentalizing their challenging experiences so they can function. This pattern of ‘stuffing down’ memories and feelings can lead a person to feel that they have multiple “selves” that have varying awareness, skills, and roles to help a survivor make it through life.

Treatment for Dissociative Identity Disorder with an empathic and supportive therapist can help you understand your confusing experiences and build a life that feels more manageable and rewarding. As a specialist in the treatment of dissociative disorders, including Dissociative Identity Disorder, I can help you take control of your symptoms and work toward goals that matter to you.

What is Dissociation/DID?

Dissociation is a healthy coping behavior that all humans use to cope with stress, boredom, or fatigue. However, when we experience chronic stress as children, it can become overused and begin to happen in ways that do not work well for us. By compartmentalizing our experiences, dissociation helps us cope with overwhelming stressors, but can also lead to us feeling like we are fragmented. Dissociative Identity Disorder occurs when our experiences become so compartmentalized that we begin to feel like there are more than one “selves” that may have their own goals, perspectives, or behaviors.

Dissociation is quite common. Everybody dissociates in small ways, like zoning out watching tv, or becoming so absorbed in our thoughts we don’t hear someone calling our name. Even DID is incredibly common, with about 1.5% of the world’s population (about 78 million people) estimated to have DID.^[1] To compare, DID is as common as schizophrenia, anorexia, or Parkinson’s.

Those Struggling With DID Are Often Survivors of Childhood Trauma

There is a strong correlation between dissociative disorders and childhood trauma. It’s common for individuals with DID to have endured severe abuse or neglect as children. However, because these individuals knew nothing else from a young age, they may have a hard time identifying their experience as traumatic. Due to the dissociation that takes place when trauma occurs in people with DID, many people with this disorder don’t even remember their childhood or adolescence—including significant moments and milestones.

Unfortunately, Dissociative Identity Disorder often gets overlooked, which is why it can be hard to get treatment. Many clinicians are not trained to recognize or treat the condition, and there are very few Dissociative Identity Disorder specialists. Therapists often must seek out additional training after leaving school to learn how to support those living with Dissociative Identity Disorder in their healing journeys.

As a therapist specializing in the treatment of dissociative disorders and Dissociative Identity Disorder specifically, I can offer you meaningful guidance in therapy. Working together, we will identify goals that are meaningful to you, and create an individualized plan to help you meet them.

What to Expect In Therapy For Dissociative Identity Disorder

Whether or not you’re familiar with Dissociative Identity Disorder, we’ll start therapy by getting to know each other. We’ll slowly build trust and connection so that you can feel supported and safe to begin talking about challenging feelings or experiences. An important part of my job as your therapist is to help you engage in therapy in a way that feels safe and manageable, if challenging at times.

I’ll ask about your history and current functioning to get a full picture of you as a human being. I want to know what matters to you, and what isn’t working for you so we can develop a treatment plan that will get you to where you want to end up. I’m a big believer that the more we learn about the issues affecting us, the better we’re able to participate in treatment and the less “crazy” we’ll feel.

Throughout treatment, you’ll learn about how the body responds to extreme stress or trauma, how our sense of self develops, and how trauma can interrupt the typical development of our identity. As confusing and overwhelming as your symptoms may feel now, you’ll come to understand that they are a result of our brain doing its best to help us cope.

As a specialist in treating Dissociative Identity Disorder, I can help you understand the impact that trauma has had on you and support you in therapy as you make the changes that matter to you.

Commonly Asked Questions About Treatment For Dissociative Identity Disorder

Does having a dissociative disorder mean I’m crazy?

Absolutely not! As I described above, this is a normal response that all humans can experience. As you learn more about DID and trauma, you’ll come to understand that your symptoms are a result of your brain’s efforts to get you through a really challenging time in your life.

How long does therapy for Dissociative Identity Disorder take?

This is a tough question to answer. Time needed for effective therapy varies from person to person and also depends on what you want to accomplish. It can also be impacted by where you are at in your healing journey and how much time and effort you put into place outside of therapy sessions to practice new skills.

I generally meet with people weekly, and my clients often work with me for a couple of years. While it can be daunting to think about investing this amount of time to make changes, keep in mind that these symptoms have likely been with you for years, and changing them will take time. At the same time, people often report improvements within a few months of starting therapy. I’m confident that working together, I can help you accomplish your goals.

Reconnect With Yourself and Your Experiences

As a therapist specializing in the treatment of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), I’m here to provide support, knowledge, and validation of your experiences in therapy. Treatment can help you connect with your emotions, memories, and facets of your self in a way that will lead to improved stability and peace in your life. To learn more about treatment, you can schedule a brief, complimentary consultation here (https://calendly.com/allisongilson/15min). Please note that treatment is only available online.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568768/